...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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