I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
try to milk me bitch
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