shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I think youre just another guy trying to take advantage of a young naive innocent girl
you're not innocent... Once you have taken it in the turd cutter you can't label yourself innocent.
Come see our sink grown plant.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize