Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
Randomize
