I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
