just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Randomize
