i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize