Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
