it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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