Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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