Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
Randomize
