Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
Randomize
