Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i think i have herpe
just one?
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
you know, i'm always afraid you're going to think i only want you for sex because i only text you when i'm horny
speaking of, guess what i'm thinking about
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Getting high with your mom, but thinking of you!
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
