we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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