who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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