they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Randomize
