Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
