I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
His girlfriends signaled their approval by pulling me off of him and in turn making out with me. I think I will hang out with this group more often
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
