she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
He shouted my World of Warcraft name while we were having sex, and he was sober.
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
Randomize
