Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize