My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
