Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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