Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
I changed the background on my phone to a picture of you so whenever I go to look at porn or text another girl I'll have second thoughts
Am I supposed to find that romantic?
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
Blow job season was short but glorious.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
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