The brown eye won't let me do that either.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
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