she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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