their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
