very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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