I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
and by running errands I mean eating an entire bag of milanos by myself in the Walmart parking lot
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