I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
where are you?
Hypothermia
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
