Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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