dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
