Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
There are horrible decisions in life and then there are tequila flavored moonshine decisions
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
Randomize
