You made me cry and you don't even care
He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
Randomize