i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
He made me chicken tenders and margaritas in preparation for me to take a pregnancy test at his place later tonight. Like...seriously.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
