I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I have tasted many bathrooms
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize