Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Randomize
