I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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