Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
