its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
I have a video (on my shattered iphone) of a random DJ at some bar giving me a birthday shoutout and texts from random numbers talking about birthday sex. My birthday is in April... Happy birthday to me?
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
