Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
I'm timing the release of my poops to the sound of the machine gun from the video game he's playing in the living room.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
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