i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
i want to live in a society where a 20 year old can wear pigtails and not get them called handlebars, because i look fucking adorable in them.
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Randomize
