i just pooped in tubberware. not a proud day
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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