i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Randomize
