There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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