Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
Guess who left Professor Cunt on their paper by accident?
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
