I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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