Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
Randomize
