I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
