Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Randomize
