I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
His hands were made for my vagina.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Randomize
