I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
