You just made me feel so damn special
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
