I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Aiming to get laid tonight but if it falls thru I'm either gonna make a mixtape for my sugar daddy or sew a teddy bear for his newborn
Could’ve gone my whole life not seeing a man snort coke off another man’s cock... but there it is...
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
