i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I think a kid would responsible me up
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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