The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
But youre all cute and shit. Woo that cunt. And by cunt i mean strong independent woman
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
