never play flip cup with pint glasses
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
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