you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize