Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
love makes seman taste better
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
