That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
