i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I'll never ask another girl to get on top again, that girl from the bar last night got on top and shit diareah all over my ball sack while she was cumming.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
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