just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
My bail money is reserved for people I either A, think were in the right, or B, have an awesome story that leads up to needing it. Just remember that before you call me.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I am available for nakedness
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
