I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
if u cant get laid at this wedding we need to have a looooooong talk about the possibility of u becoming a lesbian
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
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