I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
