Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
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