pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
DUUUDE!! just found out that the fbi has a kids page. guess who's got a new jumior officer printout badge?
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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