So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
I'm currently using a band-aid to cover my bar stamp from last night while I ask my professor for an extension. That's a sign of getting more responsible, right?
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
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