Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Randomize
