all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
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